This is almost 3 years old. I found it while digging. There's lots of treasure in my old notebooks. I like most of this one. Figures it was about the first crush I had on someone after moving back to New York. The bright side is that I see her every now and again and it's always awesome, if too infrequent. She and her boyfriend will never break up, and I think I prefer it that way. They are both amazing and talented people, and I love them dearly. But this kind of thing does make for good copy. ha ha. Enjoy.

PS The formatting is gonna be messed up, as it is supposed to be centered, but I don't know html, so deal with it. Also, if it sucks, let me know. Please.
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02/02/01

There are pictures in my mind of
you and I traversing the boardwalk
hand in hand, discussing
many topics with great enthusiasm.

Images akin to scenes from
“Kissing A Fool” where Jay and Sam
slowly fall in love in a montage of
similar shots.

I could see that happening, and
I don’t know if i should be happy
or sad. Maybe it is just
confusion over what a friend is
versus a companion.

I shouldn’t be jumping into this,
I need to wade in the kiddie pool
with my water wings to keep me afloat.
I’ve drowned before,
I cannot suffer that again.

I wanted to remain friends, but she
disagreed. I will not lose another
person in my life before they even
enter it. Please, do come in, though.

I promise to behave myself,
and not try to whisk you away
from the manor just yet. I know
this infatuation can only
worsen over time,
as we
progress
to
a
point
where things
get weird -- I’ve
been there before and lost.
I really want you in my life
and close to my heart.

This time I want to be inspired by
how much one woman can do --instead of
being depressed to the point of
immobility. Please humor me and be
my muse, and I will amuse you
to the best of my abilities.